The Hike of Life

A couple weeks ago we took the kids on a hike through an incredible slot canyon in southern Utah. We started early loaded down with water, snacks, and lots of energy. The path wandered over and through a lot of water, and we maneuvered around rocks, tree roots, and rivers as we went. I couldn't help thinking how much hiking is like life.

Out in nature you can see how plants and animals adapt to survive in their environments. (People are like that, too, of course.)

Aren't those tree roots amazing?

Sometimes the path is rocky and you stumble and totally soak yourself in the stream. You can choose to be grumpy. Or you can choose to be grateful the water cooled you off a bit.

At times little people (and their adults) start to wonder how much longer this path is going to last. At times it's good to have a chance to remind ourselves that we can do hard things.

At times in hikes and in life people feel tired. And everyone feels better when offered a little bit of encouragement. "Don't worry, you're almost there." "You'll be fine. Just keep going." "You're doing a great job!" (Doesn't life better when we talk to each other that way?)

Sometimes in life and on hikes you just need a hand to hold, someone to help you keep trucking along.

Eventually we stopped and found a nice spot for lunch, and we tried to share some of this wisdom with our kids. Maybe they understood some of it that day. Maybe some of it they will discover as they go through life.

Life can be rocky, but we can do hard things. Help someone along. Let someone help you along. The path feels nicer for everyone that way.

Wonderful Worms

The kids had just returned from their ritual routine of running to the end of the street to wave goodbye to Cameron as he drove past. On their way back they encountered some friends heading off to school. One of those friends gave Abby a little present.

Abby came running in the door and plopped a nice handful of worms right on the kitchen counter in front of me.

"Look, Mom! I got some worms!" Glee and enthusiasm radiated everywhere.

I had an immediate choice to make. I could

A) Feel complimented that my daughter knows I am interested enough in her life that she feels comfortable dropping a bunch of worms on my kitchen counter.

B) Wonder how I have somehow failed to teach my daughter better habits of cleanliness. Worms on my kitchen counter? Really?

C) Try to maintain a measure of calm while I ask her to please remove the worms from my kitchen counter.

I chose all three.

Parable of the Braces

Last summer Jake started sporting a much more decorated, much more expensive smile. He got braces.

I never had braces and neither did Cameron, so in the weeks leading up to Jake's new look I quizzed lots of people and read up about what sorts of foods would make him comfortable when his mouth was sore, what kinds of food he couldn't eat, etc. And I worried just a tad about how he would respond to this new experience.

I really didn't need to worry. Jake was a trooper for the few days after he got his braces when his mouth was sore. We kept him filled up with smoothies and popsicles, and he was a good-natured little man.

Still, as the weeks passed his new gear gave him grief in small ways. He couldn't always eat the foods he wanted to in social settings. If he forgot he won a free trip back to the orthodontist to have a bracket reattached. And the time (and effort) it took to brush his teeth morning and night skyrocketed.

I think small bits of adversity can help us grow to become wiser, kinder, and more compassionate individuals, so I viewed a lot of his hardships as blessings in disguise. But one night, as he was again talking about discomfort and what he couldn't eat, I found myself wishing that I had needed braces as a child so I could understand his experiences and better know how to help him.

Frankly, as much as I want to know how to perfectly understand and help each of my children with each of their individual concerns, I am one mortal person, and I can't. But there is One who knows us. He has felt everything we feel and knows what we need. He understands us.

"Surely He hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows..." ~Isaiah 53:4

"And he will take upon Him their infirmities that His bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that He may know according to the flesh how to succor His people according to their infirmities." ~Alma 7:12

Oh, the times we all have in life when we desperately need the One who understands and can succor us. How I rejoice in his love and grace.
                                         

As we celebrate another glorious Easter weekend, I praise God for a Savior who knows me, my children, and each one of us. He knows what He need and He stands ready to help.

Happy Easter!

Why God Gave Us Families

It was a Tuesday morning, the kids had finished their morning school work, and I was hurriedly trying to fold a load of laundry before lunch. Suddenly I heard a little voice from the stairs behind me say, "Watch me!" I turned to see Emma on the stairs.

Emma has recently been working to perfect her stair-climbing skills. In this instance, she wanted an audience to applaud her. An audience is just what she got. Abby heard her, turned, and started cheering and calling others to join.

Emma beamed as she walked down the stairs. Abby and Grace encouraged her to turn around and do it again, and she did. Everyone cheered and clapped, and Emma just lapped up all that attention.

It was a joyful moment for all of us, and I couldn't help thinking that is part of why God gave us families. Families can be a built-in cheering section. They support, encourage, and urge us on. They lift us up and love us when we're down.

Of course, God and His angels cheer us from the other side, but we don't always hear them. So He gave us families.

I sure love this family God gave me!

Creativity Run Amok

I revel in the opportunity homeschool provides my children to to develop and exercise creativity. Any time I am not sitting down with them actively doing schoolwork, their little brains gravitate towards delightful building and play. I love seeing their Lincoln Log constructions, Lego achievements, snow forts, and blanket forts. (OK, I'll be totally honest. Perhaps blanket forts aren't always my favorite because they usually involve large amounts of space, time and eventual clean-up...clean-up that often requires persistent parental prodding.)

I think their creativity is wonderful and I am glad they have so much time to dream, experiment, and build.

Jake sat down one day with cardboard, foam, tape, and fabric and sewed this couch for Grace's dollhouse.

Then one day Jake's creative energies got directed to paper airplanes. He searched the internet for ideas, pulled books out of our library, and tried model after model. Soon our living room was strewn with tools and hardware while he constructed a little launch pad.

By afternoon he was sailing missiles through the living room and over and down the stairs. A few of us were hit while he perfected his flight pattern, and my floor looked like this.

Creativity requires thought, work, and patience. Lots and lots of patience.

Homeschool Highlights: International Space Station

A few weeks ago we blasted off into our new astronomy unit with a week spent learning about the International Space Station and an evening spent pretending to be astronauts. It was pretty fun.

We started by reading Floating in Space and The International Space Station by Franklyn Branley. Both are short, easy reads that help kids understand some basics about being an astronaut.

Cameron stopped by an Emergency Essentials store and picked up some MREs, and we had a little astronaut evening. I told the kids their footie jammies would have to be their space suits for the evening. Then I taped their feet to the floor so they wouldn't float away while they were eating. (Admittedly my kids weren't too fond of being tied down. The tape job didn't last too long.)

 

We dipped our MREs in hot water and got them out one by one and let everyone try some of each.

Most of them weren't too bad. One or two of them were pretty good.

The fried rice was completely inedible.

After we had all filled up on those we pulled out some astronaut desserts, and everyone liked those, of course.

Freeze dried cheesecake and ice cream taste just as sweet as their hydrated counterparts.

Then we trooped downstairs for some astronaut exercise so all of our muscles wouldn't atrophy while we were orbiting around earth. Once again, everyone had to be strapped onto the exercise bike so they didn't take to air mid pedal.

Astronauts sleep in sleeping bags that are tied down so they don't float around. We taped some sleeping bags to the floor and let our kids enjoy a little cosmic slumber party. They loved it.

We are all set to travel around the solar system for the next few months! 3-2-1-Blast off!

Family Retreat 2016

A couple years ago we started a tradition that we all love--an annual family retreat. Once a year (we like to do it in January) we set aside a weekend for special family togetherness. We check into a hotel for a night (to make things more fun and official), hold meetings, set goals, and talk about our family values. We just finished our family retreat a couple weeks ago, and it was probably our best one yet.

After we checked into our hotel room we all sat down for our first meeting. This year in our first meeting we talked a bit about our family values, taught the kids a song we made up with each of the values, and introduced our family awards.

We will be handing out three different awards each week in family council this year--a good manners award, an exactness award, and a family value award. The good manners award is probably self explanatory--we are always looking for a way to reinforce courtesy and social grace.
                                      
The exactness award is for someone who has been meticulous in cleaning up and doing jobs and schoolwork correctly (not sloppily).
                                      
The family value award will be given to someone who has done well that week with the family value for the month. (For instance, January's value is forgiveness and repentance. If someone did a stellar job apologizing or forgiving, they would get the award.)

The award hangs over its recipient's bed for the week till we reevaluate for the next week. Our hope is that the awards will help the kids to begin to recognize themselves as having some of the attributes we are hoping to teach them.

After our first meeting we went swimming in the hotel pool and played Marco Polo.

With all that energy worked out, everyone was ready for our second meeting. I prepared a list of 25 scenarios, Cameron read each one to the kids, and they would list off family values that could help them make a good decision in each of those instances. Each time they named off an appropriate family value, we gave them a Bugle.

Which brings us to the topic of food. Corporate retreats tend to keep plenty of snack food handy, and our family retreat follows the same concept. I prepare for each meeting by packing snack bags full of different options, and everyone gets a different snack bag for each meeting. Happy mouths and occupied hands help things run more smoothly around here.

After the second meeting we went to dinner then came back for our third meeting--a little family goal-setting meeting. We went around the circle and everyone made suggestions. After a bit of banter and brainstorming we set three main goals: 1-run three 5Ks together as a family this year; 2-perform 100 acts of service outside the home; 3-be on time for family scripture study (7am) at least 100 times this year.

We ended the evening by watching Charlotte's Web together and discussing family values we found in it, such as loyalty, courage, and service. The next morning everyone enjoyed a big hotel breakfast and our retreat came to a close.

I love the opportunity our family retreat provides to focus on the things that are most important--loving and spending time with each other, setting goals, and living Christ-centered lives. Family retreats are unifying and fun and I heartily recommend them!

More Than One Way

Emma had just had a little potty training accident. Jake had been in super-awesome-helper mode that day, so he quickly volunteered to take care of it. (I was trying to make dinner and was incredibly grateful for the reprieve.)

Minutes later I saw Jake heading toward the living room with his super soaker. And this is what I saw next.

I might have gone at things with some wipes, spray bottles, and a vacuum. But boys do things differently. It's January and his super soaker was apparently feeling undervalued.

Where there's a will there's a way. And if it's cleaning up potty training accidents, I'm not going to complain about the way that's chosen.

Keeping the Sabbath Holy (with Young Kids Underfoot)

I love the Sabbath. When I was younger I loved the time for peaceful reflection that the Sabbath gave me. Years flew by, Cameron and I became parents, and my leisurely Sabbaths of quiet and peace were gone. How do you make the Sabbath beautiful with young kids running here, there, and everywhere around you?

Learning to keep the Sabbath as a young family has been a process for us. We now have a small repertoire of activities that are spiritually and emotionally nourishing that we enjoy together on Sundays. Of course, we are all human, and this doesn't mean the Sabbath is stress- and contention-free around here. But we enjoy the effort to cultivate a Sabbath spirit among the little squabbles along the way. Here are some of the activities we regularly choose:

1. Family history--Years ago for Christmas I gathered stories from relatives and compiled a book of Grandma and Grandpa's bedtime stories. It is a simple binder full of stories placed in plastic page protectors. I wrote the stories for a kids' audience and included pictures and a few illustrations provided by Cameron's talented brother. A year or two later I added several more pages of my mission stories with some old pictures from my mission. Through the years my kids have loved those stories. Recently Cameron's grandma passed away, and we pulled the book out to read all the stories from her life. I love teaching my kids about their ancestors. In a few more years when Jake gets good at deciphering people's cursive I want to teach him to index. For now, we love to fill the kids with stories. Cuddling up on a Sunday with the kids and this book is a wonderful bonding opportunity.

2. Reading--A few years ago we picked up on a good example from Cameron's cousins and started only reading our kids Christ-centered literature on Sundays. We have a couple magazine boxes stuffed with years of LDS Friend magazines. We also have all the scripture stories the church publishes and a few books we've picked up through the years. I love reading these uplifting stories to the kids on Sundays. It provides a great opportunity to discuss gospel principles in our lives and brings a wonderful spirit into our home.

3. Family scriptures--Cameron remembers poring over a big family Bible as a kid that was rich with pictures. When Jake was young we started looking for something like that for our family and found a lot of very expensive (though beautiful) options. We decided to make our own. We bought an extra-large LDS Bible and triple combination and started filling them with pictures we cut out from old Ensign magazines. We paste a picture on plain white paper, run a glue stick along the edge of the picture, and then insert it carefully into the appropriate place in the scriptures. We then highlight the matching scriptural passage. Through the years we have built up a beautiful variety of artwork, and we love looking through these with our kids and telling them stories.

4. Sunday games--When our kids were little we developed a game of scripture charades. We start by setting out three to five scripture pictures (we use ones from our old Gospel Art Picture Kit, but old pictures cut out from the Ensign would work just as well) and the kids then scamper off to choose which of the pictures they are going to act out. This has led to some delightful scriptural re-enactments! Giving them a few stories to choose from makes it easy to guess but also reminds them of scripture stories they might not think about otherwise.

Sometimes on Sunday little bodies need to be up and moving, and the Sabbath should be joyful and not drudgery. Several years ago Cameron invented a game we call prophet tag. We go out in the backyard with a soft, foam ball and start running around. The person with the ball throws the ball at another person. When it hits the person, the thrower has to name a prophet. If he blanks out and can't remember one, he keeps the ball and tries again to get someone else. This is fun and interactive but helps them remember scripture heroes.

5. LDS Conference talks--We recently started watching a conference talk together every Sunday--this keeps the previous conference fresh in our minds. If the kids pay attention we all enjoy a treat together afterwards. We check to make sure they were paying attention by asking what they remember from the talk, and this has led to some sweet gospel discussions.

6. Family council--I blogged about our family council a few years ago, but it is the cement that holds our family together. Every Sunday evening since our two oldest kids were toddlers we have gathered around a big bowl of popcorn to discuss family issues, calendar items, disciplinary concerns. etc. Throughout the week we write agenda items on the white board that hangs in our kitchen. These meetings give our kids a voice in family matters and let them feel heard. We write our decisions down in our family binder, and our kids hold us to them! We end family council each week with our family cheer and group hug, and it is a wonderful way to end a Sabbath.

Just because it's Sunday doesn't mean our children are suddenly willing to sit still for long time periods. We find it works best to constantly move from one activity to the next. Maybe we will read family history or gospel stories for a while, play a fun Sunday game, watch a conference talk, and then eat a snack. We sometimes mix things up a bit with individual parent-child time or an occasional family testimony meeting. We have our best successes when we keep things moving from one activity to the next.

Keeping the Sabbath beautiful and uplifting with a young, large family isn't easy. But I love the feeling in our home as soft Sunday music plays and we discuss the gospel as a family. It is worth every bit of effort to enjoy that sweet spirit in our home!

One More Thing to Love

Last week was our first week back at the homeschool grind after a delightfully long Christmas break, and I was feeling fresh, pleasant, and energetic. So on Tuesday morning when I found out that Jake had slept in his clothes again, I skipped all my previous speeches on why we sleep in pajamas. (These finer points of etiquette seem to get lost on boys anyway.)

"You know," I said, "I would be happy to get some fabric and help you make some pajama pants." Of course, I was really offering to do it on our next homeschool break--a couple months away. But the conversation quickly turned when we realized we still had leftover remnants from the fabric Grace and Abby used to make him a bathrobe and slippers for Christmas.

So that morning after Jake finished his schoolwork and while Abby was doing her math sheet, I showed him how to pin, alter, and cut out a pattern.

 That afternoon I helped him sew it all together with a few basic pointers (and heavy involvement when it was time to put in the waist.

It was a great reminder of just one more reason why I love homeschool so much.

Throughout the day I had coached the kids as they prepared their own lunches (and scraped off the burnt pieces of the toast they cooked too high). 

I explained how to hard boil eggs and tutored Jake as he made scones for an afternoon snack. It felt good to empower my kids with skills and experiences. I love teaching them that they are intelligent and capable. 

Yes, any family can help their children gain kitchen and sewing prowess. But homeschool gives me more time to do it. It's just one more thing I love about homeschool. 

A Tour of Our Family Binder

Here is a little organizational tip that has kept me sane--in case one of your new year's resolutions is to be more organized. Last year I started keeping a family binder. I wanted a central place to keep phone numbers, family plans, and notes about our family values and family council decisions. I love having so many things ready at my finger tips. Here is a tour of our binder and all of our forms.

In the front I keep a list of handy phone numbers--places like KidCare, the grocery store, or other places I don't call enough to put in my phone but that are still handy to have around. I keep a list of favorite menu items here. And this is also where I keep our chore lists for Saturday morning cleaning.

These are kept in plastic protectors. The front lists the things they are supposed to do (with blank spots for me to fill in as needed), and the back is a reminder of what they need to do to clean their rooms well.

Also in the very front I keep our SODAS form. SODAS is a teaching tool advocated by Nicholeen Peck. If a child doesn't respond appropriately in a given situation, we might assign them SODAS. It gives them an opportunity to think through the situation, their response options, the disadvantages and advantages of the responses they might choose, and the appropriate solution in such a situation. We love SODAS! If a child needs to write a SODAS I give them this sheet (so they can't claim they don't know how to spell situation or disadvantage) and some time to think and write. It's glorious.

The first tab in the binder is for our family values. (I briefly explain that in this post.) Our values are as follows:

January--forgiveness & repentance
February--love & loyalty
March--service & selflessness
April--faith in Jesus Christ & the Restoration
May--health
June--work
July--virtue
August--courage & integrity
September--knowledge & learning
October--obedience & responsibility
November--gratitude
December--listening & understanding

Every month we celebrate one of these through lots of discussion, scripture memorization, family activities, and family night lessons. This tab is where I keep notes of things we could do in the future or things that have worked well in the past.

Our next tab is where we keep our family council notes. (More about our weekly family council here.) Every week we keep minutes of what we talk about and what decisions we reached. This is really helpful in weeks that follow when someone says, "We talked about that in family council!" Then we can refer back and figure out what really happened and what people just imagined happened. (That never happens at your house, right?)

Our next tab is for our learning achievement levels. (That's discussed in depth in this post.) Here I keep track of what skills are supposed to be learned in each level and what each child is still working on before they can move on to the next level. I also keep our little Avery labels for making the kids "merit badges" for each skill.

The next tab is my sanity tab--planning. Here I keep all of my homeschool lesson plans for the year so I have them ready for quick reference and I know what I need to be ready for each week. I also keep blank budget sheets and our monthly planning forms. Our monthly planning form has items on it that we like to plan ahead for each month--when each child will get their individual outing with a parent, where we would like to go for our dates for the month, when we can attend the temple together, and a five-facet review grid that helps us keep track of how each member of our family is doing physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and socially.

Our final tab is for interviews. On the first Sunday of each month one of us sits down and "interviews" each child. We talk about how they're doing, who their friends are, what they like or don't like about life, or any other topic that seems appropriate. We also plan their monthly outing with Mom or Dad--they can choose anything they want within reason, but often it's just a lunch date or ice cream outing where we can talk to them and give them individual attention.

Whew! That was a huge download. Having a big family requires a lot of work and organization. Our family binder holds a lot of information and keeps me sane!