To the Moms at Storytime

I love taking my kids to story time at the library. Barring illness or major scheduling conflicts, we're there every week. I love librarians who work so hard to prepare worthwhile books, finger plays, songs, and art projects. And I love mom watching. There are a lot of awesome moms out there. But story time at the library this week touched my heart even more deeply than usual.

I saw a mom who I am casually acquainted with bring in her 19-month-old twins and her two older children. One of the twins has some special needs, so she signed the whole program for him...all while juggling her other children.

I saw a mom with an active little boy in a leg cast and a newborn try to help her son participate while still caring for her infant.

I saw another casual acquaintance who is the mother of a toddler and a special-needs 5-year-old son who can now walk with the assistance of a walker. Somehow she always manages to give her daughter love and attention while juggling the assorted needs of her son. I wonder if I would exhibit the patience, love, and grace she always manages.

I saw a former coworker helping her three little kids with the story time art project. Afterwards she took them to a park and read and snuggled with one of them on a bench while the others played. There's something heartwarming about a mom spending one-on-one time with a child.

As I watched one of these mothers leave the library with her little brood I smiled and called out after her, "You're doing a good job!" I wish I could hug every mother there and tell her the same thing.

Motherhood is consuming and exhausting with little moments of love, hope, and joy that make the sacrifices and fatigue completely worth it.

Watching mothers who are willing to dig deeper to find previously unknown levels of patience and love inspire me and fill me with hope for the world. As long as there are mothers who are willing to love and sacrifice, their children will light up the world with peace and love. And the world will be a brighter place because there was a dedicated mother there.

Motherhood Is...

It was Jake's birthday, and the basement was crammed with relatives who had come for his birthday dinner. After dinner and cake Jake started opening the presents, and his favorite was definitely this little fellow.

OK, I have to be really honest here. Jake's pet is completely nocturnal, I am not, and my attempts to catch a shot of our little guy have been completely unsuccessful. This pic was stolen from the internet. So just imagine this one is ours, because this is what he looks like. 

Yes, Jake is now the proud owner of a Madagascar hissing cockroach. And as I watched different relatives take turns letting this lovely little friend crawl all over them, I couldn't help musing about what motherhood is.

Motherhood is boldly going where you've never gone before...like to the pet store to inquire after the needs of your cockroach. (Yes, I am quite sure I never saw this coming back in my single days when I started tiara-wearing trends at work and actually paid attention to how my toenail polish was faring.)

Motherhood is full of amazing discoveries...like how low-quality crepe paper dye is. You get to discover this sort of thing when your kids leave their library art projects on the floor and then step on them with their nice wet feet after their bath. For good measure, they spread some of the dye to their towels which were unceremoniously forgotten on the floor rather than hung up or placed responsibly in a laundry hamper.

Motherhood is courage and strength when it's needed most...like when you are five months pregnant with your fourth child, your husband has to work 12 and 13 hour days (plus an 8-hour Saturday at school), and you are left home to care for your puking children and all the laundry and stains they generate.

Motherhood is sacrifice and wisdom...like when your family goes to the fun center and instead of mini golfing you try to keep your toddler out of the water, rocks, and bushes while everyone else golfs. But you realize that when you go to a fun center with your kids, you do it so they (and not you) can have fun. And you're OK with that.

Motherhood is full of discoveries you never thought you'd make--discoveries of strength, love, sacrifice, and joy you didn't know were possible...which reminds me, I need to go help Jake clean out his cockroach's cage.

When I Am 80...

It wasn't an atypical night at our house. Grace had just finished smearing her cheesy potato soup all through her hair and clothes and was heading for another post-meal bath. Abby was giddy at the opportunity to join her sister in the tub. I smiled. Abby and Grace play together beautifully and are a great joy to us. Yes, having kids every two years is difficult. But we are so grateful that has been the spacing for our kids. We love watching them play and grow together. For us, the joy is worth the sacrifice.

Then I thought of a conversation Cameron and I had held the previous evening. He had overheard a group of teenagers discussing crushes and teen romance. Cameron longed for a way to tell the youth that it really might be better if they were just friends with each other. Of course, convincing teens of such a concept is no small task. What teen isn't just sure that they know more than they do? Life, Cameron and I decided, requires us to make choices with wisdom beyond our years. Teens and young adults make choices that will affect them for years, but they lack the life experience and understanding to comprehend the importance of what they are doing.

So it is with parenting. Parenthood is full of choices and sacrifices that will affect generations. Do we understand the magnitude of our daily actions? I am sure I don't. But I am also sure that when I am 80 any career I have had won't matter much. I won't remember how much my kids' lacking cleanliness drove me crazy. I won't remember sleepless nights or desperate moments. But if Cameron and I have done a good job at loving, sacrificing, and teaching our children, we will be deeply grateful.

Cameron and Jake spent Christmas day constructing this model truck. 

And on that note, I'm going to end this blog post and go spend time with my kids.

Motherhood Love, Joy, and Sacrifice

When I was pregnant with Jake I looked around in sheer awe at all the women I knew who had more than one child. I was miserably sick (though not as miserably sick as some women), and I couldn't believe women would endure such suffering multiple times.

A couple years later when I was pregnant with Abby I was once again sick and miserable. But this time I would look at my sweet toddler Jacob and think to myself, "It's worth it. It's worth it. It's all worth it." By then I was starting to suspect that there was a purpose behind the miseries of pregnancy, labor, and delivery.

Motherhood is governed by the same law as the rest of life: we care more about the things we work for. So if we spend a few months feeling pregnant and miserable, or a few years wondering if we will ever be blessed with a child, perhaps we are being silently, slowly, imperceptibly transformed from women with slightly more self-centered motives to mothers--people who are called upon at all times of day and night to care for little people who can't provide for themselves. Our souls are being stretched to love another person with a love that is more pure and deep than any other force on earth. We become mothers through our sacrifices.

I have thought of that concept the past few weeks as I have wished that my morning sickness would go away. The house hasn't been as clean because I have been too sick to care. And I have spent lots of time lounging on the couch because I have been too tired to do much else. So I have sat and read books, snuggled my kids, told them how much I love them, and gazed with wonder into their precious faces. I have marveled at the beauty of motherhood, that I am allowed the privilege of getting to know these delightful little souls who are entrusted to my care. It is a beautiful journey and a sacred trust.

I have also thought about joy. I feel joy when I look into the faces of my children, and the beauty of their little eyes, cheeks, noses, and mouths takes my breath away. I feel joy when they play nicely together, share, help, and comfort each other, and I rejoice in the choice we have made to give them another little sibling to love. I feel joy when they know I am sick and offer to bring me a snack or let me rest a while. I take joy in the little moments of motherhood that I might otherwise be too hurried to even notice.

The pains and sacrifices of motherhood and the joy of motherhood are just two separate sides of the same coin. And I rejoice that I can sacrifice and be on the journey of motherhood. I thank heaven for little children--for my children--and that I can be their mother. Yes, it is worth it. All of it. Even morning sickness.