Danger

Let me start by saying that I may only have one eye, but I don't like to think of myself as blind or handicapped. I have to swallow hard when people assume I can't read as well. And it was a bit of a blow a few weeks ago when Jake covered one eye and announced, "I'm blind like Mommy!" That being said, I have recently discovered one situation where I feel, uh, shall we say handicapped? The elementary school parking lot.

Yes, I know that driving through a parking lot teeming with small children (and the occasional small animal) could make anyone anxious. But I can't shift my minivan into reverse in that parking lot without being just sure that someone is about to be catapulted into the ER. I crane my neck first over one shoulder then the other. I adjust my seat. I occasionally open a window to be certain. I inch slowly backwards. I pause and marvel that I haven't heard the thumping sound of someone becoming one with the pavement. I inch farther. Several minutes later, I emerge from the parking lot.

I've decided that perhaps I should post the following sign in my back window:

Unfortunately, the people I worry about most are the ones who are too small to be seen and too young to read how imperiled their lives are about to become. And one look at my sign would surely convince some cell-phone wielding driver one vehicle over that I needed a police escort. I'm sure the carpooling kindergarteners in my backseat would love to see the inside of a cop car. I would not.

Sigh. I guess I'll keep craning my neck. Or perhaps I'll just attach a loudspeaker to my bumper. "Attention, please. If you value your scholastic potential, step away from my minivan."