Monday, January 7, 2013

Egg Roll

What do you do when your one-year-old develops a fondness for unloading eggs from the fridge and rolling them down the kitchen floor?

You can blame the incident on your monocular status and claim that if you had two eyes you surely would have seen what was happening while you were innocently making breakfast. (Yes, it was on my blind side. But I don't think self pity is really worth the trip here.)

You could deeply regret taking your kids mini bowling twice in the last few weeks and blame the episode on the example that was set there. (A decent scapegoat...but then again, one-year-olds will be one-year-olds.)

You could let out an anguished scream a short while later when you see said one-year-old poised and ready for an egg-rolling relapse. (This actually happened.)

You could start waking up in a cold sweat at night from nightmares of an egg-covered kitchen floor. (This might happen soon if the trend continues.)

You could recognize a small miracle and thank heaven for the dozen or so guardian angels who must have been dispatched to catch all of her pitches. (Two of the eggs were cracked, but none of them were broken. Anyone who doesn't believe in miracles doesn't spend much time in my kitchen.)
You could laugh or you could cry. I'm trying to laugh.

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