Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Worth of Five Minutes

It was late afternoon on a Friday, and Cameron and I were both looking forward to our weekly date that evening. Our sitter was due to arrive in just over an hour. But in the mean time I had dinner to make and mouths to feed. And I had been promising Jake that we would try a new cake recipe we had been eyeing. I was scurrying around the kitchen when Abby came in.

"I want you to push me on the swings," she announced.

I paused for a quick moment. It was blazing hot in our back yard, and I really had no desire to go outside. I had a lot to accomplish in a short time. I was thinking about formulating a perfectly valid excuse. Instead I said, "How many pushes do you want?"

Abby held up all ten fingers.

Hmmmm, I thought. How long could it possibly take to push her ten times? We headed outside together.
I pushed her higher and higher (a lot more than ten times). I swung on the swing next to her. Jake came out to join us, and eventually I left the two of them happily swinging together.

I don't think I was outside for more than five minutes. But oh, what five minutes are worth in the eyes of a child.


Thursday, September 19, 2013

For Emma

My darling precious Emma,
Welcome to life, little one. You are such a perfect little spirit--straight from heaven. Sometimes I wonder what those wise blue eyes of yours see when they see me.
Do you see straight through my soul? Do you see a mother who is painfully human and much more flawed than she likes? Sometimes I wonder if you do. It is a humbling assignment to give birth to yet another precious life. I wish so much that I could be a perfect mother. I wish I were perfectly patient, perfectly loving, and perfectly compassionate all the time. But I'm not. Do you see that when you look at me? Do you see someone who is just trying to cope through some moments?

At other moments do you see someone who is completely in love with her children and with motherhood? I can't believe how lucky I am to have four precious children. I am so grateful we have each one of you and so grateful you have each other. Families are forever--I am yours, you are mine, we are each others. What a gift!

Whatever it is that you see when we gaze at each other, I hope you see that I love you with all of my soul. I feel incredibly blessed to be your mom. I promise to do the best I can to love you and teach you. Perhaps even more importantly, I promise to teach you about our Savior Jesus Christ. Because of His grace we don't have to be perfect--I don't, and you don't. Because of His grace all of life's rough spots can be turned for our good. Because of His grace we can know that life will be beautiful in the end as long as we stay on the path with Him.

They say that whatever a person is shows in their face. I think there is some truth in that statement. And so my sweet baby Emma, I hope that when you see my face you see someone who loves you absolutely. I hope you see someone who wants to teach you and show you that you are wonderful and can do amazing things. I hope you know that whatever life holds, we will all get through it together.

I am yours. You are mine. We are each others. Forever. I love you.

Mom