Thursday, August 22, 2013

She's Here!

Our littlest princess has arrived, and she is beautiful.
 Jake is a pro baby holder by now.
Abby is thrilled that there are so many girls in our family.

Grace is fascinated by this new little person.
And Cameron and I can't believe we have four children now. But we feel very, very blessed. Life is beautiful.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Bikes, Paint, and Superman

Shortly before Jake turned four we bought him a little bike. In the week leading up to Jake's birthday Cameron disassembled the entire bike and painted it green with a yellow stripe so Jake could have a John Deere bike. (Jake's John Deere obsession was young at that point but extremely vibrant.) Jake was thrilled with his birthday present that year.
Jake on his fourth birthday
Then recently we bought Jake a much bigger bike, and Abby needed a little princess bike. Cameron again disassembled the entire bike and painted it pink and purple with a final coat of sparkles. Abby is in heaven.
I love seeing the kids' faces light up when Daddy gets their bike just right. I love seeing Abby so giddy and happy as she cruises all over on her new wheels. And I feel pretty lucky to be married to a Superman who can wield screwdrivers and cans of paint so darn handily. I am a lucky woman.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Reflections on My Due Date

My due date came and went three days ago, and I am still pregnant, large, and not-really-in-charge. And I've been doing a lot of reflecting on life.

I should probably preface my next sentiment by saying that there are scads of women in this world who I am sure have harder pregnancies than mine. Yes, I feel pretty darn lousy for a few months in the beginning, but I almost never throw up. Yes, I experience lots of other aches and pains throughout the nine months, but I am sure there are lots of women whose experiences are worse than mine. So the last few weeks whenever I have started to think I was a little bit miserable (such as when the kids and I came down with bad colds at 37-1/2 weeks along), I have reminded myself that I chose this because I think our children are worth it. They are. And that little thought always pulls me out of my pity party in a hurry.
I wish I always felt so cheery about life's challenges. But the fact is that some miseries in life aren't our choice and never would be. Sometimes life presents true anguish and heartache. Some hard times don't have a silver lining like a beautiful new baby to snuggle. That was certainly how my cancer felt for a few years.

Recently we attended the wedding of Cameron's brother, where we enjoyed seeing and catching up with lots of relatives who we don't see often enough. Among them were Cameron's aunt and uncle who opened their home and took such good care of us when we had to go to California for my cancer treatment. During one conversation we had with them, Cameron's uncle recalled the terrible trauma of my cancer experience. I responded with something like the following:

"When I look back now, I don't remember the trauma much anymore. I see the miracles and blessings and how much I've learned. I think any trial can become a blessing if we let it."

Of course, getting to this place of peace was no easy road. But as I look back through the last few years, I see how God put the right people and experiences in my path to bring me healing. And I know that I am safe in His hands.

"Behold, I have graven thee upon palms of my hands..." Isaiah 49:16

*****

We do not know what the future holds. But we know who holds the future. 

*****

"The center of His will is our only safety" --The Hiding Place

I do not know all the reasons why I got to have cancer. But I know if I walk with God, He will show me. And I will marvel at His plan.

I do not know when my baby will come. But I know we are both in His hands. And though I may be tired and huge, being in His hands is still the best place to be.